Day Job
by BriannieBee64
Summary: Jason has a day job for whatever reason, and it's pretty embarrassing. How he got hired is a mystery, but that's not the problem. The problem is that he wants none of his brothers to find out about it, or that he even works. But when the place posts all its employees online and he's on the front page as employee of the month. It's kind of hard to hide it.
1. Chapter 1

**Day Job**

**Disclaimer/ I do not own Batman, I just had idea and wanted to write this down.**

"Oh no you wont! Not today!" Jason growled.

Panting, his heart beating against his chest with exhilaration begging to be let out. He never got over the thrill of being not being caught, adrenalin singing through his veins. He was ready for anything and determined to win, the little son of a bitch wasn't going to get away this time.

Dodging a laser before his foe could pull the trigger he pulled out his own gun, and shot. Ducking behind a large wall, he plastered himself against it. His eyes darted towards a clear spot he knew if he made it there he would be safe from all danger. He counted to three "Yolo right," he breathed. Dropping towards the safe spot rolling in a summersault. The shooter missed him. He peeked and shot at his attacker. The red laser aimed at his chest, he met the terrified eyes of the twelve year old.

"You're dead." He grinned.

"You cheated!" The boy said indignant, brushing a sweaty mop of chestnut hair out of his face. "Whatever it takes to get the job done." Jason shrugged. The young boy crossed his arms smugly, "I'll let you have this one, since you lost all the others." Jason gave him a dark look, "I let you win." The kid rolled his eyes, "I'm starved lets get pizza." Jason followed after the kid, trying to remember where exactly he had found him and if he was going to give him back.

"Man! That was the most fun I've had in forever." The kid said, mouthful, looking around his large hazel eyes wide. "What are you doing kid?" He took another bite of his pizza, "Looking for my mom." Jason nodded, glancing at his book, "You got ten more minuets." Nodding the little boy went back to eating like a ravenous dog.

"What-" he chewed, "Is a cool dude like you working at a chick place?" Jason glared, and the kid grinned, a smudge of tomato sauce smeared on his cheek. Jason handed him a napkin, "wipe your face." Nodding the little boy proceeded to smear the sauce all over his face. Jason looked away sighing. Grabbing another paper towel he wet it with the kids water and began to clean his face properly. "You never answered my question." He said.

Jason adverted his eyes, noticing a strawberry blonde woman and no doubt with a frazzled look in her pale green eyes. "Your mom's here." Nodding he hopped off the table. "Thank you!" The woman said. Jason gave her a tight smile, "no problem." Fussing with her child she didn't notice the tense look on his face. Walking away the little boy turned and pointed at Jason "Rematch!" Jason shot him a grin, "You bet!" Flipping his book shut, he rubbed at the migraine he was getting.

A little girl ran up to him pulling at his black slacks, kneeling to be eye level with her she frowned arms out stretched. He hugged her, "Tomas pulled my hair." She said sadly, "He messed it up." Stepping back she pointed at her crooked bow and braid, the little rubber band was missing and the hair was unraveling.

"Boys are stupid."

He faked a hurt look, clutching at his chest. "I'm a boy." The little girl got a pondering look on her face, "only _some_ boys are stupid then." She decided. Jason nodded, "Hungry?" She gave the pizza a distasteful look, "I don't like pepperoni's." She crossed her arms and pouted. Jason lifted her easily and sat her on a stool.

"Well then take them off."

** Two weeks Later**

"So, what do you do for a living besides you know professional babysitter."

A thin, balding man with a very obvious comb over plopped himself on the counter, he was breathing heavily and smelled like the odd mix of cleaning chemicals and nachos. Jason gave him an annoyed look, and the man got off the counter only feeling slightly offended when he proceeded to disinfect and wipe the counter down with Clorox wipes. "Kids eat here, and I'm a professional stripper." The man looked him up and down, raising an eyebrow. He was dressed in a yellow shirt, baggy red overalls, space boots and a baby blue ascot. The outfit was ridiculous, but the manager had approached Jason one day and told him it was required. The woman rambled off something about the bright colors being less intimidating for the children, and how it eased the minds of their parents. Apparently they weren't very fond of biker boots, and leather jackets. But Jason had the feeling that the staff just wanted to laugh at him. "Dressed like that?"

Jason smirked leaning with his elbows on the counter, "why not? It gets your wife all hot and bothered…" He looked off into the far distance, looking back he said in a sinful voice "she thinks its sexy." He jerked his head towards a boring looking closet door labeled employees only, "Sometimes, well we get a little frisky." He winked. The man turned a bright red, and he looked at the door in horror.

Jason shoved himself away from the counter, and turned towards the play area for the big kids, full of squawking children and flailing limbs. "Food!" They came tromping towards him like an angry mob wailing "Me first! Me! Meeee!" Crowding around him, yanking at his bright red overalls, ravenous. One kid was even hanging onto him, hugging on with all four limbs, foaming at the mouth, shrieking like a banshee "ahhh."

"What about the little ones?" The janitor said looking back at the younger ones playing peacefully, cheesy cheetoes scattered everywhere. He looked back at the young daycare worker, he was passing around plates. He looked up, shuffling forward through a sea of hungry children, handing plates out blindly. Janitor max was impressed that he never lost track and gave double, even to the kids who took a hold of two plates. Jason looked back towards the counter, he had a very serious look and looked way too focused for some one who was grabbing and handing out juice boxes.

The Janitor never could have imagined somebody like, he glanced at his name tag since he was still relatively new. He could never picture somebody like Jason working at such a place, taking care of children. He was tall, and muscular. Devilishly handsome, and at one time he could have sworn he went to work with a black eye. "Pirate peet!" A little girl said with a pout, hands on hips. A gang of kids stood behind her with their arms crossed.

Jason grinned, reaching into his hair, sticking out oddly in every direction with a little boof at the front, he pulled down a eye patch, and for some reason that made him feel much better. He no longer had to wonder why he went to work wearing a headband. "Ok but I'll need you guys to sit down." The kids cheered and ran back, sitting at the floor, while others dropped a little banner that said Pirate Peet. "Looks like somebody cant spell," He laughed. Jason detached the little boy, and let him run off to sit with the rest of the kids. They left the big carpet with the states on it as his stage. "That was my fault." Jason said strutting towards the children, him following closely behinde him. "I was too busy rescuing cute kitty cats from trees." He smirked a secret smile, the eye patch making it appear more sinister.

He jumped onto the carpet throwing his arms out like if he were going to hug a bear. "Arrrgh! I'm Pirate Pete!" The kids cheered. "The other day I was on my ship…" He sighed making his way back to his broom. He had cheetos to sweep.

** Well that's chapter one, this idea came out of nowhere and I have a bit of chapter two written down…I don't know if I'm going to be ver consistant with this story or where its actually going buuut..**

** Review if you liked it and would like me to hurry up and finish chapter two.**


	2. Chapter 2

** Well here's another chapter. Sorry about the wait I had a lot of homework, I have no clue that possessed me to take all AP classes**

"Jason! Where have you been? _Where were you_?"

A voice suddenly demanded into his ear, and he gritted his teeth. He rather not talk at the moment, he had things to do. Things that didn't involve getting hounded on like a mother, and by Dick of all people. Just shoot him now! Or he'd do t himself…

That was a little dramatic he would admit, but he no longer had patience he saved it for. "I was calling you all day!" Jason shut his eyes in annoyance, who did this guy think he was? His girlfriend? He needed to know when he took a shit or what? Some kids at the daycare did though…He touched his back pocket where his phone had used to been, he remembered it vibrating all day, he had gotten so caught up in Pirate Pete. The Janitor Max had laughed at him, but hen he told him his first son was his and that shut him up real quick. Jason hasn't even seen his wife but…

"This wasn't part of are agreement!" Whaaat? Agreement? He didn't remember a agreement. Unless there was some in the mashed potatoes, and considering Damian practically ate them all. Nope nothing in them. "I know you are there I can hear you think cussing." Jason rolled his eyes, tearing his eyes away from Tiny Gothamites Day Care for only a second. The title was a mouthful so he called it TGDC for short.

He looked back when he heard the sound of a fence jangling, a loud noise and heavy footsteps, paired with loud whispering. "Ok lets get some things strait, what the _hell_ are you talking about?" He heard a huff at the other end, "What were you doing?" Jason narrowed his eyes, he had caught a moving figure in the dark. "Important stuff." He said, sliding a little close to the edge. "Oh, god! Please don't tell me-"

"I was busy during the day! I have a life you know. Big kid stuff, not everybody is getting supported by bru-." He gritted his teeth, he had just told his brother he had job, but the was hope he hadn't caught on to what exactly he meant. "Working? I honestly cant see you with a job. What is it?" Jason growled, he so to could get a job, and keep it!

The three figures dressed in hoodies only fueled his anger. They had neared the symbol, of TDGC. A large blonde, blue eyed baby with a cloth diaper held together with a unrealistically large pin. "I don't live on the streets, contrary to popular belief. I actually do have an apartment, but one of the questions to get my apartment was to list if I had a job. Without one, I wouldn't get the place so I…" He looked closer to what they were doing. "So what did you put? Gun trotting maniac? Ex murder?" Jason gritted his teeth, that was just low, and unusually cruel for Dick to say.

He looked at his watch and his eyes widened they had be having that conversation for almost a half hour! Why was he even wearing his watch? "I should remind you _Dick, _you called me! Me!Meee!" He flinched, Suzy pigtails was rubbing off on him. Next thing he knew he was going to walk around everywhere with a hand on his hip, snapping his fingers, and sassing everybody.

"…What was that?" Dick asked in a low voice, Jason didn't reply he was too focused on the group of hooded teens and the clicking sound., then flash of white. A spray can bottle. Not exactly the kind of thugs he was waiting around for, but _nobody was going to paint the face of Baby Ronnie. _"Gotta go!" He shut his com off quickly and hopped down, landing in front of the teens. They stepped back in fear, "this isn't legal?" One asked in terror. Jason mentally sighed, he was dealing with a bunch of idiots.

"No shit! You little shit," he growled. Grabbing one of the boys along the scruff of the neck, he brought his face close to his mask. "Clean it off," the boy trembled. "But it's non-washable!" He whined. "Boo-hoo now clean it!" He shoved the boy forward making him stumble. "Hurry, before I tell your mother." He paused, did he really just threaten the kid with telling his mom? He did, and he sounded like a old lady. Fucking seventy year old lady with a cane! Or pigtail Suzy. "Jeez man! Okay! Just don't tell my _mom_, she'd skin my ass." The guys got to scrubbing talking amongst themselves, "you really got a scary mom!"

"I know, I remember this one time she was…"

Jason tuned them out scanning the streets. "You're not gonna kill us right?" He didn't reply right away. Parked on the other side of the road was a very familiar sleek, black car. It was waiting for him, "I'll think about it, now keep cleaning." He crossed the street, jerking his chin as in to say what do you need? I have better things to do then talk to your sorry ass. But when he got there he smartly said nothing. The window to the Batmobile rolled down.

"Are you busy?" He said gruffly, tapping the steering wheel impatiently. Jason stared at the fingers drumming rhythmically against the hard rubber. He meet his adoptive father's eyes. "Not exactly," he said glancing back at the teens scrubbing at the wall with their elbows, one even proceeded to use the whole side of his body.

"It's not coming off!"

"He's going to _kill _us."

"Get in," Jason looked back at Batman, then sighed. There was no use in arguing with the man, he always won. He turned back to the group of young thugs, and shouted "I better not catch you doing this again, you little shits. Never again." The waved off in the distance he could hear their, tired "Yea, yeahs…"

Jason Ducked into the Batmobile tugging the seatbelt, and holding it securely over his chest but not clicking it on. Bruce made no move to leave, "Put it on." He rolled his eyes, but complied. "So what do you need help in?" He asked curiously looking around the dashboard as if it would give him a clue. "Nothing." Tensing he looked at his old mentor, "then why do you need me?" The Batman smirked. "Alfred wants you to come to dinner."

Jason lunged for the car door in panic, he could imagine hundreds of ways he could spend his day off, none of them involved using the right fork. He watched in horror as the car lock and even the car handle disappeared. "That's new…"

"Damian," He said in explanation. Shifting into gear he sped off, and Jason held onto the head rest for dear life. "I would have thought Jason, you would stay in on your day off." Bruce said casually. "Who told you!" Jason demanded as the Batman smirked but said nothing as he drove into a secret passage leading into the Batcave.

"Don't tell Dick…"Jason pleaded. His father tuned back to him and proceeded to shock him, when he zipped his lips and threw the key to the back seat of the Batmobile. "Don't worry, its your choice if you prefer working with children all day, instead of just asking for a job." Not this again, Jason thought banging his head into the leather of the seats, groaning.

** Please Review, it's inspiration. It makes me actually want to write more ****J**


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